It’s slowly sinking in… my home is almost no longer my home. It hurts to think about leaving and sometimes it’s easier to bury myself in the busyness of preparing to leave the program rather than preparing myself mentally and emotionally to leave Uganda and return the United States.
When I do think about it, the resounding theme is Blessed. The simplicity, the smiles, the laughter, the sunrises, the heat, the suffering, the strength, the relationships, the struggles, the spiritual warfare, the fertile soil, the joy, the heartbreak, the successes, the failures, the abundant life. I realize this land is not a cursed land as these people tend to believe. How joyful it is to live in such close communion with the earth, God’s beautiful creation, as these people do… to live in straw huts built from the dirt with their own hands; to work and sweat each day in their fields for their food, as our bodies were created to do; to walk miles from place to place as our feet were created to do; to live in community and cook for each other and care for each other’s kids-to love one another as we are commanded to do; to revere the elderly and respect the parents and take responsibility of younger siblings; to have nothing, fully reliant on God, and therefore have everything. In the midst of suffering and disease and war, God is still lavishing his blessings on these people. It’s amazing to speak to those few who recognize the blessings and who give God thanks.
As I reflect on this past year, I also think of how God has blessed me beyond measure. Our Ugandan Pastor recently came and ate dinner with us and before he left he prayed for us. As his wife was so sick that she was hooked up to an IV, as he was leaving early the next morning for a mission trip, as two new missionaries had come that he still needed to meet with that night, and as he was visibly exhausted, he praised God with passion saying “My God, we are happy to be serving you!”
That prayer spoke volumes to me. As I return to the United States tired, probably confused, and with no clear direction for what’s next, I pray that my words and conversation with family and friends reflect that He has made me glad and that it’s not a sacrifice, but a joy to serve Him.
MariAnne